My head's not working right now. I've been sitting, waiting for an inspiration since last week for my dad's 60th birthday celebration but nothing's coming.  There are a lot of reasons why the creative sphere of my brain can't come up with bright ideas for the celebration as easily. Probably because I am busy thinking about my own major event in April. Or maybe because I just finished a major event last week; I'm taking a breather.  Or perhaps because I'm working on a very tight budget hence, my brain's already shooting down any sprouting of a grandiose idea.

I'm scanning old pics of my dad for a movie I'm making for him.  That should do it for a start.  I snatched his yearbooks and lone photo album last Sunday while he was at the yard doing his routine watering of plants.  The excitement of sneaking snap-scans of old photos which I have to delicately detach off my dad's photo album was a good way to break the monotony of my Sunday.  But what's more exhilirating is the act of being transported to my dad's world--riding that time capsule of a photo album and knowing who and what my dad is.

You see, my dad's not too expressive with his feelings.  I don't blame him for that, that's just him and to make us sit down and talk about his history like your average mushy families ain't gonna make him him and our family, us.  I love my dad and I respect his reserved distance with regard to matters of emotions.  Or perhaps, it's me who's not asking him about his past--how he was like as a child, how he met my mom, what was it like to live in a small town with barrioesque mentality, what he gets out of basketball, how many games he won, his ppg's?

I only learned of dad through the stories my mom told.  He was a quiet non-demonstrative kind of guy, I was told.  I thought it to mean "not affectionate" because that's what I felt and saw in him as I was growing up.  But looking through his photo album, he was not like that at all.  I saw a pic of him dancing on stage--I'm imagining him doing a  copacabana type.  He was also chosen to play the role of Joseph in a nativity type-scene and looks like he's all game for it.  In his early 20's, a picture of him shows him standing before a group--an animator of sorts?  A person in that group was holding a guitar, everyone was seated on the grass, it looks like an informal activity and my dad's leading them.

My dad's a boss.  I saw all his calling cards with his titles in it.  Toughie eh?  He's up there!  But most of his photos show him with his team dining at the beach, posing behind him at his big bureau.  I perceive my dad to be very formal but pictures belie this.  And being objective about his own photo album--it is well-organized alright, with dates and labels at the back of each photo, but there is artistry in how he arranged his album.  There are also cut-outs of years on print-patterns and a well-thought of placing of photos according to the rules of visual aesthetics.  He has no no funy bones in him after all.  He is after all, no different from me.  Unless I purposely ask him about his self, I may never get to know my dad.

I am a lot like my dad.  Browsing through his pics, I see my own self like it was my own past life.  Hmm... now I get it!  To  ask my dad who he is and what he was like is not only about knowing my dad, it is also about knowing myself and getting me ready for my own future, being me--my dad!

meetjopeblack

People often say that getting something you don't need a.k.a. things of luxury, is a sin.  Case in point are jewelry, a multi-million peso car, or designer clothes--these things, they say, is a social sin because you can actually use this money instead, to feed the hungry or build a house for Gawad Kalinga.

That was what I learned when I got my first real Viktor jeans.  The first one I had was a pair of slacks.  Ino says that that one is a creation which I alone have.  It's real viktor ayt, but they are no jeans.  The one I have now is my first viktor jeans jeans.

Cathy has three pairs now.  At first I didn't understand why she got addicted to the jeans--wanting the same design replicated a dozen more times.  I thought:  she should try other designs for variety.   Now I know why:  it's the fit, it's the design, it's the feel, it's the care, it's the ritual, it's the marketing, it's Ino, it's everything!

Is it wrong to spend on something so expensive?  A numbered pair is at least Php5400; a regular pair Php4800(?).  I won't go to the if-you-can-afford-it-why-not-argument.  I'd say, is it wrong to give yourself some comfort?  Don't we deserve the best for ourselves?

With all due respect to those who can't even afford a dilis on their plates and yes, definitely we also have to satisfy our basic needs, I don't think that poverty should forbid us from enjoying the best life has to offer.  Part of being human also is to live a bon vivant which most of the time is pricey, scandalously.  The philosopher Max Scheler says that the problem of the modern age is that it has forgotten how to live a lived-body; the body now is nothing more than a vehicle of the self--a trap, a scourge, a limitation to be overcome.  To be in a lived-body is to engage in the world--not to be attached to it but to feel it, experience it for one's nourishment.  Only then can one exclaim his "I am" and assert his humanity.

To be human is not only to suffer the pain of toiling.  To be human is also to celebrate the miracle of our skills, our strengths, and the glory of our being gifted.  There's nothing to apologize for the wondrous gift of our victory over the dead-end road of inanimacy.

We wear luxury because it is a badge of our being victors--victors of life, victors over non-life.

Plugged into: Fall Out Boy's "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race"

meetjopeblack

Everyone should try JT's Manukan (JT=Joel Torre). It's the second time Cathy and myself had dinner there and last night was extra filling because (ehem!) Cathy ordered an extra serving of paa.

I love eating with Cathy. I love exploring restaurants with her, trying new dishes and splurging for food. I love the chit-chats while eating. Last night, we were talking about Kris and James. Ha! It pays to have someone in the circle--you get juicy news which otherwise will be covered up by the celeb's PR person.

Here's JT (JT=Justin Timberlake) and his stomp-stomp-circ-slide move. Not his Scarlet J mtv/movie can beat this.

You expecting any deep insights in this entry? Sorry to disappoint you; nothing substantial from me today. I had a good discussion on the role of the state and the separation of the church and state earlier in my class. Methinks that's enough work for my brain cells today.

It's a good day! I had a restful V sleep last night hence the calm.

Watching High School Musical later. We're weeks away from D-day.

Cheers!

Plugged into: JT's FutureSex/LoveSounds