meetjopeblack

We heard mass at the Christ the King Chapel in Greenmeadows yesterday and what a boring mass it was.  After driving straight from Batangas, all I needed was at least some spiritual nourishment.  Didn't get it from a very dry mass in a cold airconditioned chapel with cold people singing and worshipping (?) like zombies.  They should probably just turn the aircon units off, if only to cancel at least one cold thing in that chapel.

The communion was likewise a let down when after the long queue was emptied, a boy ran to the altar to catch the lay minister for the holy communion.  The lay minister didn't see the boy sprinting towards the altar; he turned his back and walked away--I couldn't totally blame him.  The boy stood right before the first step up the altar; everyone's looking at him, at them.  The  boy beckoned for the lay minister to come back so he can receive the sacred host.  After the century dash at the church's center aisle, it would be a waste of effort to not get what he ran for!  I wonder how he called the minister:  sir?  mister?  boss?  or the ever-reliable psst?  It was a suspenseful moment.  Will the minister look back or not?  Everyone's on the edge of their seats.  But the boy  wasn't loud enough to be heard.  Not even his presence made the other lay ministers nor the bishop-presider notice him.  Poor unfortunate soul,   the boy just hopped and skipped back to his place smiling, shaking his head in shame.   Well he should be!  Why did he have to wait till the line was empty before he had to dash to the altar for the communion.  In fairness to boy however, isn't it protocol also for the layminister to take a second look if there are still people like this person cramming, running, leaping like a gazelle for the distribution of the sacred host?  That Sunday afternoon, one person missed the holy communion.

Then came the announcements.  We will have a special recollection for househelps this... wt...?! Why have a special recollection for househelps?  Are they coming up with special recollections for engineers, or doctors, or teachers or for other specific jobs also?  Why single out the househelps?  Are their spiritual needs different from that of the other working groups'?  How dare we categorize people in the  Church according to their jobs!  That was the most insulting, most un-Christian thing I ever heard planned by the parish community!  I understand their intentions; but... I can just shake my head in frustration.

Blessing of the palms wasn't encouraging also.  People were literally pushing each other, carelessly poking church-goers in the eye with their palms just to be first in the sprinkling of holy water.  They have to be first?  To be in front?  Does more holy water mean holier palms?  Are palms more important than persons?

Meanwhile, in local news, Chairman Joe Concepcion went on radio this morning and denounced what he called an unwarranted and shrewd untimely increase of gasoline prices.  In the first place, he says, oil companies haven't consumed all of their gasoline inventories yet; their increase in prices cannot be attributed to the increase in prices in the world market.   Second, he was critical of the timing of the increase.  It's done during the holy week when people will be filling their tanks with gasoline.   Isn't that taking advantage of the expressed needs of the people?  It's always about the money!  Damn those companies! Damn ERB and DOJ for sleeping on their jobs, not being very watchful in monitoring (if they actually monitor) the oil trade and pricing.  Holy week?  Oily week for the capitalists!

It's always about me and my own satisfaction.  It's always about me and my own salvation.  I never saw holy week as being only about the self until now.  Damn.

Advertisement:  For those wanting relatively low priced gas, have your tanks filled up in the gasoline stations in Shaw boulevard (Pioneer drive side).  They're two pesos cheaper than your local gasoline station.  Two pesos per liter is huge savings for us common tao.

meetjopeblack

Did you play sipa when you were still in your short pants?   Have you seen people lift and twist their arms as they hit the sipa with their foot?  Did you play family computer?  Remember Super Mario Bros.? Remember how difficult it was to jump forward by pressing the right and A buttons at the same time?  Didn't you also move your arms while holding the control pad, swaying it about as if guiding Mario (or Luigi if you're the second player) to the next brick?  It's head, eye and muscle coordination (sometimes the lips also twitch as in when you're salivating to open that resealable Coke litro).

Sometimes our body parts are so involved in another's activity, they mimic that parts' movement.  Similar to you and your girlfriend's involvement in each other you wear the same striped shirt unplanned.  Or blurt out the same thing in unison like when the Wonder twins activate their powers.   It's so cute, it's funny.

Yet there are also times when your body doesn't move in harmony.  Like when your head says, "Move right," but your feet turns to the other direction; you twist your knee and it aches and it's sore and you can't move and you got yourself stuck in a shitty situation.   And so it is with your mind and heart--your mind totally understands the predicament you are in and is actually still able to make a lengthy exposition about the matter, but your heart feels another and acts brashly irrationaly reproachfully crazy.  They don't move in sync and you hurt yourself and everyone in proximity.  This one's not funny. So disjointly off, you cannot fake a smile.

How about the case of being told to turn right but you turned left because you forgot which one's your left and which one's your right?  Actually, it's better to be ignorant than to hear two voices saying two different things.  With no hope for a synthesis, you'd wish you really were just that stupid not to think, or that insensitive not to have a  heart.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

--Timo Cruz, Coach Carter

Kudos to a brave middle-aged man who knows his game, plays it hard, and quits when he has to.   To you Coach lou:  you better see how your players have turned out.  Thanks Coach.

Currently watching: Coach Carter

Pampanga's old churches were the subject of this year's visita iglesia.  The churches were a marvel; you can feel history in their premises.  The flood of people were also overwhelming.  Clearly alive is the province's religiosity which is slowly waning in quality in urban Manila.

The one I liked most was the San Guillermo church  in Bacolor.  It being drowned by ash and lahar in the 1990 Pinatubo eruption, the church stood strong against the wrath of nature.  Although badly beaten, it managed to transform its ugly defeat into one of nature's aesthetic magnificence.  You can actually feel the heavy drag of grief in its caverns along with the push of divine presence.

If there's one thing to learn from this, it is that: our wounds make us beautiful.  They reflect so much our character; they carry along them the history of our making.

The thirty spokes unite in the one nave; but it is on the empty space (for the axle), that the use of the wheel depends. Clay is fashioned into vessels; but it is on their empty hollowness, that their use depends. The door and windows are cut out (from the walls) to form an apartment; but it is on the empty space (within), that its use depends. Therefore, what has a (positive) existence serves for profitable adaptation, and what has not that for (actual) usefulness. --Lao Tzu

Happy Easter!

Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

meetjopeblack

There's one thing I realized after marriage: everything is always easy when there's only the two of you, that is, the husband and the wife, involved in the building of your new home together. But because this is the filipino family we're talking about, however independent-minded the couple is, one cannot help be affected and, for lack of a better word, maneuvered (?) by one's family and in extreme cases, even neighbors. Everyone (else) seems to have a say in a new couple starting their own life together--mostly unwelcome suggestions and sometimes, actual meddling in one's domestic affairs, schedule, and what not. The couple just have to live with these remarks and make them feel they are welcome and helpful when in fact they are not--they have crossed the boundaries.

I remember the Levi's ad early this year. It says with a picture of a young lad with a shadow resembling that of an old man, probably his father, "I am not your second chance." We are not the second chance of our families.

Plugged into: The Fugees' "Can't Take My Eyes Off You"

meetjopeblack

Woke up this morning finding myself alone in bed. Cathy's in Boracay for work, she left yesterday.

I sorely miss her. I miss her morning smile that greets me when I wake up. I miss our new morning ritual of preparing breakfast, taking a shower, switching the aircon off, and walking her to the gate. It's a Saturday, we could have started moving to the master's bedroom and filling the cabinets with our wardrobe--who's getting which side, who's getting this or that space?

Oh, the movie in my mind. With nothing to do on a Saturday, I face the computer and blog.

Plugged into: Good Charlotte's "Keep Your Hands Off My Girl"

Plugged into: Des'ree's "Kissing You"